Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Status Updates

So, I have a new peeve today.

Something that really heats up my cool beans...

Those status updates on Facebook, which ask one to copy and paste something in support of a cause, group or thing.

Case in point.-

If you support our troops then please post this on your status and leave it there for one hour. There should be no excuses from anyone!!!! This should appear in everyone's status. Please do this for the ones that make this the Home of the Free because of the Brave!!!!

Now maybe I am way out in left field on this one, but fuck man, really?

This is but one example.
There are more than I care to read, on Facebook, on any given day.

Yes, I support out troops.
They are doing hard things...for the sake of a greater cause.
Of course I want all of those kids to make it home.


Do you really intend to guilt me into saying that?
Do you wish to imply that by not copying that into my status that I don't?

I mean really, that is just insulting.
It is insulting by implication...

If I don't copy some crap into a status box, I am implicitly saying I don't support our troops, or I want weaker laws regarding rapists, or perhaps that I hate fire fighters?

Screw that.

I am perfectly capable of making my opinions and support of causes known.
I might do that too much, by some folks standards...
And it has nothing to do with my motherfucking status on Facebook.

I am anti; crime, spam, privacy intrusion, gun control, unchecked government and pedophilia.

I am pro; organic farming, police, kittens, fire fighters, gay rights, teachers, science, community development, arts funding, troops and tacos.

And with that, I can formulate my own bastard public statements regarding such matters.
Thank you very much...

A suggestion that I copy and paste some simpleton shit opposing or favoring any of those given topics implies that I lack the wherewithal to communicate my own opinions on matters I deem relevant.

It infers that I am without a base understanding of the steps required to initiate change.

It states, by my selective silence, that I am an anti-social idiot.

You know what I find is more effective in changing the world?

Walking the fucking talk.

I vote for people that I think will deliver a reflection of my opinions.
I pay my exorbitant taxes.
I donate to charities I think will make a difference.
I actually talk with police officers in my neighborhood.
I take in stray cats and rescue dogs from the kennel.
I stop to help folks.
I listen to what people have to say.
I do shit.

We will never make the world a better place with some half-assed, inane internet bullshit.

For all of the talk about social media changing the world, it is no panacea, no substitute...
We improve out world by giving up our seat to someone more infirm, by sharing a bit of wealth with a person more in need.

We make the world better with actual in-person communication, generosity and a lot of damned work.

Copy that into your Facebook status...

Wookie Wednesday


Yeah, Wookie Wednesday!

Listen, I am trying to take over the god damned world here.

You think I am just sitting around thinking up witty shit for your amusement?

They can't all be winners, kid.

It is Wookie Wednesday.

That's it.
Deal with it...

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Dust Bunnies

I was moving cars around, really just to do an oil change on the truck.
But the dust bunnies were making a move to take over the garage...

So, it seemed like a good time to give the T some air.

Sweep out the garage...
Find all of the stuff that had fallen underneath other stuff...

And stand back and take a look.

Make sure the lines converge, in the way they are supposed to...

Sometimes, some change in perspective, some distance, can help.

Taco Truck Tuesday

Green Energy

"We got that big fucking health care deal done, Barak...What do you want to focus on next?"

"Joe, we have got to get this green initiative going. We need to stop talking and start getting things done...Solar, wind, we need to get a new nuclear power plant approved, built and on line by the next election...and nothing, I mean nothing, can go wrong."

Monday, March 29, 2010

All We Do

This is pretty much all we do in California.


The entire state.

Well, except for the immigrants...

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sunday Drive

Do you have any cash?

Saturday, March 27, 2010


Party at Sam's tonight.

Live bands - check.
Bevvies - check.
Hotrods - check.
Un-leem-uh-teed tacos - check.
LSR car - check.
New pals - check.
Motorbike racing - check.

Clearly, this is not one to be missed.

So, uhm, yeah...
I kinda have plans tonight.


This will counter the cuteness of that last video...

Fantastic Cat

Just me and the cats today...

Which is only related to this video by the word cat.

Which doesn't quite make sense.

I am not sure which part of this doesn't make sense.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Fangio Friday

Thursday, March 25, 2010


I suppose if you are going to roll on a gay little scooter, dude...

You might as well have flames shooting out of your ass.


It does kinda butch it up a bit, I guess.

My Average Work Day

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

At It Again

Jeff Decker, that is...

The guy who put together that amazing Crocker a few years ago.

Well, now made the HRD mark seem even more sinister...


Yeah, I know...

You don't see that every day.

More pictures can be seen over here.

You will have to click on the "customs" link and scroll down.

Taco Truck Tuesday

Monday, March 22, 2010

Still Working on It

I have been keeping pretty mum about my plans to take over the world.

That doesn't imply that I have given up on those aspirations.

Not at all.

Folks seem to get the wrong idea when you spout off too often about world domination, legions of baboonbots marching into the world's capitols and building moon bases.

"Oh! Building a moon base, right. That guy is crazy!"

People can be so small minded about that sort of shit.
I will show them...

Just know that I am toiling away on it.

And training bipedal man-tiger mutants to be catastronauts...

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Well, that is interesting...

Turns out EE Cummings' typewriter didn't have a shift key?

I had always presumed some esoteric aesthetic reason for the lack of caps in his writing...

Go read some of his poetry.

Poetry is bad-ass...

Shut up.

Unidad Domingo

Nos vamos con más de?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Friday, March 19, 2010

Flip Flop Friday

If you have known me for any amount of time, you may be aware that is am like a delicate wild flower - sensitive to the world around me.

Given that it seems to be springtime, it seems that sartorial modes are in transition as people adjust the warming temperatures.

People are getting out their god damned flip flips.

I have, on previous occasion, opined regarding the heinous assault my visceral senses endure from an exposure to flip flops.

I state again, I do not care for flip flops.

The hairy man toe knuckles.
Grime crusted, callused foot skin.
The sound of sweaty sole, separating and rejoining with foot bed.

Kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap, kathwap...

Oh, merciful God, I shiver just thinking about it.

But I do not want to come across as being intolerant.
By all means, wear your foot thongs - bear your icky feet to the whole world.

This year, I have even added some situations when I will not be outwardly hostile about your choosing to wear what may be the greatest footwear abomination in history.

Just remember these fashion rules of flip flops:

It is acceptable to wear flip flops when traversing ground between a water amusement (i.e. pool, water slide, snorkeling) and your real shoes. Note-real shoes should be kept within 12' of the waters edge.

If you are a native Pacific islander, flip flops are acceptable - on island only.

You can wear flip flops if you are an actor in an adult feature film production, while traveling from dressing room to scene and back. (I am probably creeped out by more than your feet, so I added this scenario to my list.)

Flip flops are fine, if you are more than 250 miles from my location.

You may wear flip flops if your only other option is to stuff your feet in rotting possum carcasses, while trekking to a shoe store to buy some real shoes.

I put these guideline before you in an effort to make the world a better place...
For all of us.

There, see?

I am totally chilling out on flip flops, this year...

Thursday, March 18, 2010


That I should finish up the damned T.

Fun for the Kids

You know what kids love?


What could be more fun than a little ride for kids.

With animals.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Lemmy Movie?

Wall of Death

Wall of Death, with lion co-pilot.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Taco Truck Tuesday


Monday, March 15, 2010

My Average Work Day

This time...
Things are gonna go great!

Feeling Cool?

Well, this guy has you beat...

When it comes to cool.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sunday Drive

What is it, dear?

Why do you want to put the top up?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I am In

I am in with the out crowd.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Wall of Death, Indian Style

Way off of Wednesday with this wall of death entry...

But this is some great footage of a show, in action, at a circus in India.

Gift Idea

Hey, I know I can be a pain in the ass to shop for...

"Scott, what would you like for ___?"

"Oh, I hadn't really thought about it..."

Well, here is an idea...

It'll cover you on gift expectations for a while.

FED Friday

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Bitch Less

The next time I am feeling chilly, while working in a sixty degree garage...
I am going to think of this guy.

Animal Training

Suddenly, I feel as though I do a miserable job of training my pets...

Perhaps I just need to integrate more top-tier predators into the collection of pets?

Somehow, I think not...

Maybe I need to whip up a wagon, which they could pull me around on.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Stop getting all your paint job ideas from my tattoos, buddy.

And put on a damned shirt.

That girl face is creeping me out.

It's like the eyes follow me...

What say you, Willy?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Total Recall

So this may be a bit revelatory to you, but I have been involved in what law enforcement officers refer to as a "display of speed" or "street racing."

No Fast and Furious race for pinks shit.
Just the occasional haul ass because it needs to be done stuff.

I recall this one night...

There was one particularly enthusiastic Porsche enthusiast, with whom I lined up against more than once, while living in Seattle.
He seemed to have something against my Impala and a need to prove it.

Sure, I could have shrugged it off...
Often times I did.

But there was this one evening, when we ended up beside one another at a stop light, facing a long bit of straight pavement.

We both knew it, the shit was on...

We waited for green, finding our particular preferred RPM.
The light changed, and I jumped, dumped and hit the one-two-D...

After feeling as though I had shown enough fender to Captain Krautwagon, I lifted...

And waited...

But the Impala was of it's own mind.
She just kept going.

Now, I was not making deals on a Bluetooth headset or anything...

But let me tell you, in a 60's car, windows down and with near four hundred cubic inches of Detroit iron taching at full song under a starry sky...
There are plenty of fucking distractions.

Was I over ninety, shit, I don't know...

I was worried about breaking things.

It only took a half a second for me to find neutral and shut down.

After coasting to a stop, I considered the bits I had read about big block Chevy's turning enough torque that they leaned over on to their throttle rods.
I realized I had just lived it...

I got out, had a smoke and made sure I didn't squirt anything past a gasket.

I bent up the throttle rod with some pliers, in a few minutes...

And made a hard run, to make sure that sticking thing wouldn't happen again.

The point of this story?

If you own a machine that might fucking kill you...
(Even if it is shaped like a jelly bean.)

You should probably know how to shut it down.

Taco Truck Tuesday

Monday, March 8, 2010

Best Lawn Mower Ever

Not only is it a Cub Cadet...
Known in my family as the Cadillac of riding lawn tractors...

This one has some sweet bicentennial/Evel Knievel paint job!

Holy crap.

That is the kind of mower that a man could use to trim up the yard and then go jump the Snake River Canyon with.


I almost think I would try growing grass (rather than annually killing it) if I had such a bitchin' mower available...

I would mow my lawn wearing one of those Evel Knievel style jumpsuits and a helmet.
So the neighbors would know that I am not just the guy with a crazy mower...
But that I am the crazy guy.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


No, this is not about pirate treasures...

The knife does not have anything to do with that.

This is one of the few things I have from my grandfather...

I really don't know too much about this knife.

It is from the cabinet that held the old double barrel shot gun I am fond of polishing directly after ordering delivery pizza.
The pizza guys have not yet encountered me cleaning up this knife.
Not like the double barrel...

There are few things that carry history in my bag of tricks.

Ironic, with my interest in old things, no?

But I have this here knife...

My grandfather was much more of a pocket knife kind of guy.

Pocket knives are an old time thing.
Men carried them to do things.
Open mail, loosen screws, cut twine...
Do things.

This knife was anomaly, amongst the things left behind by Derald.
Likely, the reason I have it.

The hilt says KABAR, which could imply the involvement of my uncle.
He was a Marine, who may have more familiarity with the Corps chosen cutlery than any of us care to thing about.
Perhaps a gift to my grandfather from his son?

This knife is one of the things I treasure.
It bears the marks of my grandfather's hands...

I can see the grooves left in it's blade, from his sharpening.
There is dirt and grime on it's hilt that are his.

I just maintain it.
Brush off the dust and oil the blade.

A blade which will, to this day, slice a sheet of paper...

And reveal the touch of a man who did things.

A man who helped shape me like the edge of a blade...

Sunday Drive

It'll be fun, I promise.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

OK, Stop

I think this is a nice antidote for the recent OK GO video.

I mean, that video is neat and all...
What with the wacky contraptions and such.

If you have no idea what I am talking about, somebody is probably forwarding you a link right now.

Not me, though...

I am going to suggest that you melt your face off with some motherfuckin' Joan Jett rawk.

You are welcome.

War Paint

Friday, March 5, 2010

Four Wheels Friday

Well, Four Wheel Friday until one of the wheels falls off.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

You Steer

Yeah, really!
Just for a few minutes!
I just want to get something outta my pocket!
Change for that toll booth, up ahead!
I'll just sorta stand up here!
On the tank!
You just kinda slide forward and grab the throttle!
Don't move around so much!
This will totally work!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


It has been some time since we talked about books around here.

You have probably figured that I had given up literacy, in some feckless attempt to find happiness in other media.
No, well maybe.
For a while...

But I picked up Will Ferguson's book Happiness some time back.

It is one of those books that I buy because of the cover. The cover is no piece of work mind you, but I picked it up anyway.

It is the story of a self-loathing, self help book editor who puts out the best self help book ever.
That great book, an obvious collection of quips and quotes from a thousand other self help books, nearly leads to the end of the world.
Sort of...

Folks read it, stop going to work, start wearing sweat pants and smile a lot.

Kind of like how I remember college, now that I think about it.
Anyway, lets stay on track here...

People give up being grumpy, stop caring about crap and deify the books author.
Industries collapse, mean spirits and bad habits are forced underground.
Things start to resemble a global Rainbow Gathering.

Yeah, shit gets real bad...

The protagonist editor journeys forth to attempt to save the world from the pandemic of glib indifference, in a manner that bears resemblance to a Harold and Kumar movie, and learns stuff about life, love and happiness.
You know, the usual...

There is, of course, an ironic turn.

It has been a couple of months since I put this one down.
The fact that I am just now writing about it must mean that I liked it.

I guess I did, in the same way that some nights call for watching a stupid situation-comedy - sometimes a clunky, silly novel is good for a smile.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Taco Truck Tuesday

My Delicate Side

You may have the impression that building a hot-rod is a process that is all welding, sparks flying action.
Yes, that is part of it...

But sometimes there is a call for a more sensitive interaction between man and machine.

Sometimes it takes love and kisses...

Monday, March 1, 2010


Well, it is March.

Which means it is time to put on the crazy elephant costume, throw the gal on a donkey and go shake down college students for spare change.

You know, for charity.

By which I mean me...

That elephant costume don't pay for itself, you know.