Thou Shalt Always Kill

Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip

Scramble Up the Shitpile

The "democratic" process seems to be, well, weird to me today. Just a few days ago I was feeling relatively positive about the way things were bumping along. Note that I said relatively, not an unqualified positive.

I was thinking things were not so awful. It kind of seemed like, even with the Democrats still fighting amongst themselves and Huckabee making some point, we were left with a candidate group that I could believe some of the time. That, in my mind, is a comparative improvement over the current executive situation.


A couple of things have me nonplussed this morning...

McCain, did he bang the lobbyist or not? Do we really care? I guess the Republican base might care. It wasn't that long ago they were dying to impeach one of the candidates husbands for that type of thing. It sorta seems like a party on the attack, attack of their own candidate.

Mike, what is he doing? It seems like a lot of effort for a VP nod at this point. Did you notice how much he resembles Nixon? Creepy.

Clinton, why cry for more debates? Christ, that last one was like a hugfest. She spent the whole debate talking about how much her ideas were in line with Obama's - while smiling, all moon-eyed, nodding at the guy.
(Usually, I am a big fan of Tina Fey but last night she declared that "bitch is the new black" while promoting Hillary's efforts. I gotta say, I am not sure that is a slogan I want to be associated with. It reads badly, I would assume, across all demographics beyond the bitchy-white-babyboomer-female-Democrats and even in that group it will make some uncomfortable. Yikes.)

The Obama machine seems to be the only one not shooting at it's own feet. He needs to stay on message and avoid picking a Fred Eagleton if he gets the nod - he seems to be the McGovern of this cycle, and he seems to be pulling it off. The DNC has to be pissed, they built a complicated security system to prevent this sort of theft of the nomination. Shit, even the super-delegates are wavering...

And then, just today, fucking Ralph Nader announces. Really? We have to do that again? Is he on the RNC payroll? Can the Birkenstock shod, Berkeley-esque boomer bastards keep their Prius' in the garage this go around? It really is the greener choice.

guile or gall

I am in the middle of some pretty heavy reading, so I thought I might shoot the breeze with you about something I read a few weeks back…

Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence and a Bad Haircut

It is a collection of 25 years of random crap from P.J. O’Rourke, that lefty gone right.

P.J. is big on promoting his whole lefty gone right bit. I can’t blame him. It’s a good story. It’ll get you your own radio show, or whatever the hell it has gotten Mr. O’Rourke.
I don’t read his press clippings, so anyway.[…]
It has gotten him far enough to get some publisher to put out a collection of his ramblings – and presumably pay him for it.

By all reasoning, I should like it. There are stories of shooting shit in southern Ohio’s farm country. There are hippy head-bashings and bits about shagging minors. There are tales of driving fossil fuel swilling rampages, in the dumbest cars you can get your hands on. All things I would, normally, go entirely in support of…

To me, it reads like a boomer collection of self importance.

I hope to God that in twenty years I do not feel the need to make people sit down and soak up two and one half decades worth of my best bullshit. I also hope that in twenty years my collection of bullshit tells a better story.

At the end of the book, I feel like ol’ P.J. was a bit of a poseur back in the day and he grew up to be like every junk bond trading, coke snorting owner of a stainless steel sports car. For all of his linguistic finesse, O’Rourke reads like a sixty year old Beatles fan, sitting next to me at some hotel bar, enjoying retirement in spite of two or three ugly divorces and as many bankruptcies.

I don’t buy that he is or was left or right. He was and is a greedy shit, playing the system for pussy or payola. His idealism, to either side of the aisle, is the reward of people who have the cushion to dwell on jive (myself included).

But, I am not one of those boomer Beemer drivers.
After a few weeks of thinking, that sort of smarm just pisses me off.

valentine

It's Valentine's Day, so I am posting a picture of some random cute thing. Cute things have connections to affection laden gifts.

I would have purchased you some random cute thing, and had it shipped to you at the last minute.

It would have served as a token of my deep and unwavering feelings for you.

I did not do that, however.

I just posted that picture.

I am sure it must convey the fondness I have in my heart for you.


(notice that it is a rat, which would have allowed you to think back to this space of time, the year of the rat, and reminisced, had I actually sent you a gift rather than just shown you a picture of a possible gift I, in fact, did not send)

Rats!!!

Hey!
Pig year is over.
Thank f-ing Christ, or Buddha, what ever.

Lots of folks seemed to have a hard time in the year of the Golden Pig. I was optimistic, I mean how could pork be bad? It seems that the pig is best saved for searing over a hot flame than serving as some lunar cycle.
But, enough about that.


It is the year of the Rat!


In some manner of cosmic confluessence, one of the local museums is going to have a show dedicated to Ed Roth. How about that?

I try to not read the descriptions on any of the Chinese calender things. If you look to closely, you start to notice that they are all pretty similar. So, I am going with a weirdo theme for the year of the rat.



Are ya with me on this? I mean rats are sort of disgusting, under certain circumstances. They can seem weird, in our perceptions and desires to avoid another black plague.
But why not embrace their knack for survival in spite of adversity this year. We are quickly becoming not unlike them.



There is a book by a guy that studied and lived with the rats of New York, for a year. You know, to get acquainted with their ratty civilization. It's on the reading list for sure.



They just recently dicovered a different species of giant rats in Jakarta. I have seen some big rats in my time, especially in the back alleys along High street, but that is a big-ass rat.
When was the last time you heard of the discoery of a new species of mammal? Sure, we kill off twenty or thirty species a day. Isn't it nice to hear they found one?
And it's a big weird rat!
(Note, they also discovered miniature opossums in the same area.)





By complete coincidence, I have been doing some work in the lab developing some bio-robo interfaces. Some great advances have been made with, yeah, rats!
Things have gone so well with the rats, I may incorporate them in the master plan.

Authwhore.com

An associate has invited me to do some guest commentary and reviews on his website:

www.authwhore.com

I don't have anything there yet, but you should give it a look.
Especially if you like the books.

Typewriters are Fun and Nostalgic

Typewriters are for gays.

Go check out

www.robot-voice.com

It is fucking fantastic.
Because patently offensive language sounds funny when it is said in a robot voice.
Trust me.



I have been working on the plans for the baboon-bots lately.

Part of the plan to take over the world, but anyway...

This website was enough to inspire me to install speech synthesizers in them, instead of baboon voice boxes.

I'll probably include all sorts of profanities in their memory, for my own amusement - and to frighten anybody who dares to oppose my baboon-bot legions.