News of the Week

I have been running a bit this week, but doesn't mean I haven't been looking at the world around me either. Here are some things that gave me pause.

Bipedal reptiles.


I think it was in Hiroshima (coincidence?) there was news of a alligator standing - walking around even on it's hind legs.
Big news for a family that hasn't done much evolving for a few million years.

Good news for me, too. The baboonbots are progressing nicely here, but cripes who can resist developing a legion of bipedal alligator minions in a plan for world domination. Even with heavy casualties in battle, I could outfit other regiments with some sweet shoes and luggage.

Until I get that far, though, be careful who you answer the door for.



In other news, at work this week I got to hang out with folks looking to globalize your equity and ten severed human heads. How is that for a spectrum of disgust.

Yeah the equity folks spent a good bit of your equity, to get together and talk about how they could spend your equity in off shore ponzi schemes and what have you. You might be startled by how your investment managers spend the fees they charge for managing your equity. It is better that you don't think about it. Folks from all of the major financial institutions you have been hearing about on the news had a really nice week here in San Francisco, that is all you need to know...

At the other end of the building, severed heads. Yeah, real heads. Ten of them, heads, on little tables around a meeting room. Real scientific stuff, involving decapitated human heads.


You would think that there would be all kinds of rules and regulations regarding the transport and use of severed human heads, but it all seemed a bit loose if you ask me. You would also think there would be some elaborate clean up of a meeting room where people were poking heads, but not so much.

By some genius bit of happenstance, one of the attendees to the severed head party was going for a game of tennis after the meeting (true story). He left his racket and gear bag just outside of the meeting room - can you guess the manufacturer of his tennis racket.


As a manner of coping, all of the good "head" jokes were deployed, be sure.
I wanted to be sure that every one was kept smiling.


I considered doing a snatch and run with the heads, for the Olympic torch run here.
I am pretty sure I could have sold some heads to the protester folks.
I can guaran-damn-tee that throwing severed human heads at the torch runner would have gotten on the news.

The mayor, here, diverted the run through the back hallway of the police station and called it good - to avoid any bad run-ins with the folks protesting any of a number of bad things having to do with China.
It was a move, perhaps, recommended by the Chinese. Our mayor protected the dignity of the running of the torch, in spite of the people who might have reason to complain about the hosting countries oppression, occupation, environmental destruction's or general creepiness and desire to eat chicken feet.

To be clear, my beef is not with the general populace of China, but the power structure there. Eating chicken feet is pretty icky, I'm just saying...

Remember the dignity of the running of the torch. The whole deal was a press gimmick made up by Hitler and his crew, to demonstrate the superior nature of Germanic men proceeding the Berlin Olympics.
Yeah, the torch-run deal was started by Hitler. Look it up.

While listening to some of the Congressional hearing on things in Iraq, I couldn't help but notice that the Cash money number being thrown around was $600 Billion for the cost to date. Did you pick up on that?
I did, because it was about five weeks ago that the number in use was $500 Billion.
I know that many of the Blackwater contracts were just renewed, but doesn't that seem like a big jump over a few weeks?

Oh, and the R word is official now? I still am not sure, but I am in a constant state of financial panic. GE number were less than expected. That means recession, I guess?

Or perhaps we are entering a giant corporate greed head adjustment period, where CEO's can exercise their severance packages prior to the end of Bush's term. It will force a global economic collapse, but a Mad Max style apocalyptic retirement compound is already under construction just outside of Crawford, Texas and the lots are already sold.

The rest of us will be left to wear leather chaps and football pads, and ride our mopeds around the compound, in a desperate death race to oblivion.


Unless, unless there is a man of vision. A man who has developed a mutant army of cat-men manning a laser base on the moon, menacing baboonbots with squid hands along with legions of bipedal alligators - to rise against the greed heads and seize the world's reigns.

See, it doesn't sound so crazy now, does it?