Showing posts with label taking over world. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taking over world. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Wait, Wait, Wait




OK then, US Navy...

Were you thinking nobody would piece this together?
Huh?



You, my dear reader, might remember, like a week ago, the Navy announced that they had gone operational with some lasers on boats.
Remember that?

Sure you do...


And you have probably heard mention that they are also working on autonomous things too,  Right?

Drone boats and planes and all that.
Every branch needs a drone these days, it seems.

And today I spot this story...
Fucking shark drones.





Really?


C'mon Navy.

Seriously?


I know what you are up to...







Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Screw It





I think I have mentioned before, my hesitation on this whole taking over the world business...

Frankly, I just don't like people that much and assuming a dominating command of all things global, it involves a lot of people management.
Not sure those "soft skills" are really my strong suit...



Especially after this week.

You goddamned people are nuts.



Anyway, the moon base is in good shape, so I am just going to hang out there for a while.
It's hard to go out to dinner there, sure, but there are a lot less batshit-whacko-loons there too.


For the moment, all plans to take over the world are on hold.
You people can have it...

Friday, March 21, 2014

Darkness


I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came and went—and came, and brought no day,
And men forgot their passions in the dread
Of this their desolation; and all hearts
Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light:
And they did live by watchfires—and the thrones,
The palaces of crowned kings—the huts,
The habitations of all things which dwell,
Were burnt for beacons; cities were consum'd,
And men were gather'd round their blazing homes
To look once more into each other's face;
Happy were those who dwelt within the eye
Of the volcanos, and their mountain-torch:
A fearful hope was all the world contain'd;
Forests were set on fire—but hour by hour
They fell and faded—and the crackling trunks
Extinguish'd with a crash—and all was black.
The brows of men by the despairing light
Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits
The flashes fell upon them; some lay down
And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest
Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smil'd;
And others hurried to and fro, and fed
Their funeral piles with fuel, and look'd up
With mad disquietude on the dull sky,
The pall of a past world; and then again
With curses cast them down upon the dust,
And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd: the wild birds shriek'd
And, terrified, did flutter on the ground,
And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes
Came tame and tremulous; and vipers crawl'd
And twin'd themselves among the multitude,
Hissing, but stingless—they were slain for food.
And War, which for a moment was no more,
Did glut himself again: a meal was bought
With blood, and each sate sullenly apart
Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left;
All earth was but one thought—and that was death
Immediate and inglorious; and the pang
Of famine fed upon all entrails—men
Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh;
The meagre by the meagre were devour'd,
Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one,
And he was faithful to a corse, and kept
The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay,
Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead
Lur'd their lank jaws; himself sought out no food,
But with a piteous and perpetual moan,
And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand
Which answer'd not with a caress—he died.
The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two
Of an enormous city did survive,
And they were enemies: they met beside
The dying embers of an altar-place
Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things
   For an unholy usage; they rak'd up,
And shivering scrap'd with their cold skeleton hands
The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath
Blew for a little life, and made a flame
Which was a mockery; then they lifted up
Their eyes as it grew lighter, and beheld
Each other's aspects—saw, and shriek'd, and died—
Even of their mutual hideousness they died,
Unknowing who he was upon whose brow
Famine had written Fiend. The world was void,
The populous and the powerful was a lump,
Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless—
A lump of death—a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes and ocean all stood still,
And nothing stirr'd within their silent depths;
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,
And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd
They slept on the abyss without a surge—
The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,
The moon, their mistress, had expir'd before;
The winds were wither'd in the stagnant air,
And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need
Of aid from them—She was the Universe.



Once I take over the world, I plan on driving around that car and having an army of whisperers who recite this poem in hushed tones as I pass by...


Does that seem weird?



It's a Lord Byron poem, by the way.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Still In Progress




Yeah, I am still working on taking over the world.
So, you know...


Just finished up some details on this little project, which is turning out pretty awesome.
I am not gonna tell you what this is, but it's gonna be good.
It's a surprise.


Hint - it has a bit to do with gravitational fields.


But, you know, since that whole end of the world crap turned out to be fake, I have lost a little steam on this whole global domination thing.
That end days stuff kinda gave me a schedule to work towards, a motive...

And it's summer.
Some days I just want to take the submarine out to the middle of the ocean, surface and look at the waves rolling by...


Since those fake final days passed, I have been doing some soul searching on the subject of taking over the world.

I don't really like people all that much, so maybe I am not cut out for that aspect of the deal.  There are a lot of people in the world and if I take it over, then that could sorta be a chore.  I am not sure how responsible I should be to the well-being of the world's inhabitants, should I actually succeed in wholesale supremacy, you know?  Not a lot of examples or guides to study up with subject.


Anyway, still at it, even with  waning motivation and questions on "what if" I press on.
At this point, I guess it's more about seeing if I can take over the world - more than the planet crushing power aspect of it all.

You know, something to do...



Friday, March 22, 2013

Check It



Check it out, 'cause I am totally stoked on this...

I can't, exactly, tell you what it is - but it is a big deal in the whole take over the world plan, let me tell you.
Right, well, I can't tell you.
It would ruin the whole deal, if I went on about what this is...


So, uhm, yeah.


Well, otherwise, things are going OK.
Still that rather indelicate issue with the baboonbots, but I am working on it.
Haven't really gotten anywhere with that battlegoat idea.
Need to change the cross-flow cooling fluids in the submarine, this weekend.
The usual taking over the world shit...

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Groundhog Day

Yeah, I may have missed musing much on the actual Groundhog Day nonsense.
I think that little varmint bastard is a sham deal anyway, false hope and all that...

But I do dig the movie.  It's a great movie.




My head space roughly parallels this clip, at the moment, but that is another topic.


I was doing the evening routine, the other night, and this was on.
I sorta bustled through things with it in the background, sorta watching every other fifteen minutes of it, if you get what I am saying...
Watched most of the end scene, the romantic, sappy part, that resolves the whole pastiche of recurring winter malaise...then went out to walk the dogs.
When I got back, do you wanna guess what was on?
Yup, another round of the same movie, Groundhog Day...


Fucking brilliant.

Some people wonder just what the hell it will be like when I actually take over the world.
Sure, it sounds a little scary, with all the Baboonbot talk, and moon bases and what not...
Understand, that is part of a transitional phase.
Folks don't want to just hand me the keys to global governance, you know.
Their may be a bit of a struggle, before you can bask in warm embrace of my world domination.

It's all for the good, though...
I think I have some really sweet ideas on what sorta things need to change, around here.
Example - a broadcast channel that shows an endless loop of the movie Groundhog Day.


Wouldn't that be awesome?

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Battlegoats



Yeah, you know, still chipping away at that whole taking over the world plan.

It really takes a lot of effort to take over the world.  I kinda expected that, but there is a shit ton of stuff to think about with this deal...

The baboonbots are in a early beta-testing phase right now and there are some issues I didn't quite anticipate, which have been a bit disappointing.  Let's just say that even though they are partially cyborg there are certain urges that are natural, that are hard to engineer out of the genome.
It's gross...

Anyway, the whole baboonbot trouble has me pondering some other options as well.  You know, sometimes  it is good to step away from one project and work on another.  Mix it up, and all that...


So, I was thinking about some other weapons platform.  Still sorta a hybrid robot-genetically modified mash up thing, because I think that just seems bad-ass.  But I need something with more heavy firepower than the baboonbots can carry, more of a supporting fire deal.

This is, obviously, a rough idea...a sketch, if you will, of my battlegoat concept....

I am not sure if this got started because goats are such good climbers, or if I was thinking that goats are cute, but whatever.
It'll be a nice change, because all these damned baboons are making me a little crazy...

Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Jam







Rocking like this, today.

As if I were some sort of indestructible, gangsta, muthafukkin ninja.
Or something...

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Working On It


Yeah, I am still planning on taking over the world, I have just had some other stuff going on...


Still using the facilities in Philly for sorta an eastern operations center.
Doing most of my work, here, out of an  old ICBM submarine I got from a rather suspect Russian dude.
It was used and kinda smells like dead fish inside, buy the price was right.  I thought it made sense with all the coastline here and all...



The missile launch capabilities come in handy for getting to the moon base, where I have been spending most evenings.  I have been working on a new idea for a cold fusion death ray thingy, and the quiet up on the moon makes it easier to concentrate.

Those are some working notes, in the pic.   There is some bullshit mixed in and some crucial stuff not included in the picture, because it is top secret shit.  So, don't go off blabbering about your cool friend, who is working on a cold fusion death ray on the moon, to everybody you know.
Just keep this between you and me, OK?


Anyway, the rest of it is still all baboonbots and maniacal scheming.  My standard kinda shit.
I was really counting on all that Mayan end of days crap to come together, so I had eased up on my efforts figuring there really wasn't much point.
Pfft...
Stupid primitive culture calender bullshit.

Just you wait, though.  I will totally get around to taking over the world...


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Working On It



Yeah, still planning on taking over the world.

Baboonbots progressing nicely.
Lunar base on line.
Lab largely relocated and unpacked.
Insect transmutron trials now underway.


Just trying to keep things on the down low and all.

If you learn too much, Chuck will have to kill you.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Validation

Sure, my methodology of sleep deprivation and moderate inebriation seems to be a bad way to go about things...

Recent scientific studies have provided some evidence that there is a bit of merit to my whole strategy, however.  The Wired article on the subject is over here.

Turns out that sleepiness sorta trains the mind to work in new ways, not unlike a trauma victim, to sort things out...

The results are a testament to the creative virtues of grogginess. When people were tested during their “least optimal time of day” — think of that night owl stumbling into the lab in the early morning — they were significantly more effective at solving insight puzzles. (On one problem, their performance increased by nearly 50 percent.) Performance on the analytic problems, meanwhile, was unaffected by the clock.

Even better news, for me, it turns out that people are more likely to find that Ah-ha! solution to a problem at "peak" beer buzz (or general alcohol buzz)...


One last piece of evidence: A brand-new study by scientists at the University of Illinois at Chicago compared performance on insight puzzles between sober and drunk students. (They were aiming for real intoxication, giving students enough booze to achieve a blood alcohol level of 0.075.) Once the students achieved “peak intoxication” the scientists gave them a battery of word problems – they’re known as remote associate tests – that are often solved in a moment of insight. Here’s a sample problem. Your task is to find the one additional word that goes with the following triad of words:Cracker Union RabbitIn this case, the answer is “jack.” According to the data, drunk students solved more of these word problems in less time. They also were much more likely to perceive their solutions as the result of a sudden insight. And the differences were dramatic: The alcohol made subjects nearly 30 percent more likely to find the unexpected solution.


So, I will just take all of that information as a positive, I think.
I didn't really sleep much last night and all of my usual conditions apply...

Friday, February 10, 2012

Oops

Yeah, sorry if we messed up your neighborhood...

Let's not get too heavy into details about what happened exactly.


It seemed like a routine run to pick up some hagon field capacitors, I needed for some work in the lab.  The thing about hagon field capacitors is that you can't just buy 'em off the rack, here.  Some bullshit rules about national security, or something.  I have only been able to source them through some shady folks on the other side of the planet, you know, don't ask questions about it.  OK?

Like I said, they are all the way on the other side of the west coast.  No overnight shipping, because of the stupid customs and all.  You gotta pick the capacitors up in person...
Now, I have made the trip a bunch of times with a couple of the baboons, Jake and Earl.  We have done it enough times that I usually let Jake take care of most of the flying.  So I can catch up on reading and what not, you know it's a long flight.


Anyway, I needed some more of the damned capacitors because the reactor keeps popping them under heavy loads.  I also wanted to watch Antiques Roadshow that night, so I figured that I would just let Jake and Earl make the run for me.

Of course, the one time I let the baboons solo on the trip there is trouble.  I am not going to get into the details, but some stuff happened, an engine fell off, blah, blah, blah...

Typical.


Like I said, if this is your 'hood...
My bad.
I mean the Air Force should take some responsibility too, but they are acting like this shit never happened.  Jerks.  And technically, Jake was flying, not me.
Regardless, sorry about that whole mess...

Jake was able to limp the bird back to the base and I have some back-up hagon field capacitors finally.
We are already patching up the unspecified flying machine.


All the sort of stuff that people don't consider, when you are trying to take over the world...
It is a lot of work.


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Seen This Before





Ever seen this before?


If not, you can thank me for enlightening you on the magical world we all share.



With all this free time I hope to get back to work on the baboonbots.

Taking over the world, all of that business...


Probably for the best, as things were starting to get a little weird down in the lab.

Under-supervised primates come up with some crazy ways to pass the time, let me tell you.
I did leave them a computer. Besides looking for monkey porn they took on some ghost writing deals for certain GOP candidates. The baboons get a hell of a kick hearing there ideas used as talking points in the campaign.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Bad


I was working some stuff in the lab, earlier today...


The fractal reactor that I have been working on for, well, never mind what it is for...got a little off-line.
There was some vibration associated with the issue...


I was able to initiate the shut down sequence, but I guess a few other people noticed...



So, anyway, sorry about that shaking bit.

The baboonbots and I have everything under control now.
Nothing to worry about...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Plugging Away





My planet conquering baboonbots are totally going to blow some minds, when I take over the world...


It is all in the little details, with this sort of work, you know.






Sure, giant explosions get peoples attention...
But it is when you come face to helmeted cyborg/baboon hybrid, with terrifying technology dedicated to your own very personal destruction...

That is when you will realize how serious I am with the world domination bit.


You are gonna shit your pants...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Little Tour






I didn't want you to think that I had given up on taking over the world.

No, not at all...
But moving meant getting together a new secret lair and all of that.

I can't really show you too much, because it is a secret lair, but how about a little virtual tour.

We will enter through one of the tertiary doors, 'cause I don't want to reveal the location or anything...
Pardon the mess, I am still working on some things.








Down that hallway/tunnel is a lot of important stuff, like...


Well, just trust me, there is some really cool stuff.
The power source for the base, the monorail station, all that sorta secret lair shit.

And a really nice gym.
I don't know why I put a gym in...

I mean who has time for working out these days?

Especially when you are taking over the world...











Here is a thing, never mind what it is, in one of the upper level labs.


It does things, just don't worry about it...
Really cool, especially when you combine it with some of the stuff down on the lower levels.

Anyway.












Down on the lower levels is where the real genius stuff goes on...

The baboons are down here, too.
They make a hell of a noise.

Man, baboons are noisy...

Like I was saying, just down these stairs is some really awesome shit...






Yeah, this is not an actual picture of the work on the baboonbots...

You get the idea from this one though.

I could post up more, but I really want the baboonbots to be a surprise and can't wait to see everybody's reaction when we reveal ourselves in a tidal wave of glorious world conquering domination.


I like a good surprise, don't you?



So, yeah, that was kinda the tour...
I hate to have all sorts of wacky agents tailing me and what not, so I am not going to reveal much more right now.

Remember, it is a secret lair...
Which means it is a fucking secret.

So, don't tell anyone. OK?


Keep it on the down low, between you and me...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Working On It






Work on the baboonbots is still going slow...

Kinda bumming me out.










Branson has gotten all distracted with all his ocean and space stuff and as such has become a less than reliable source of funding for my bid to take over the world.
He wants to put those stupid logos on everything, too.
Whatever...

He can go look at fish all day.
I am going to have absolute command over the freaking world!

Shortly...


Anyway, shit can get rather laborious in the laboratory while assembling proto-mutant-robo-monkey-bots.

Lots of little, fussy experiments, the wiring, all of that shit will drag you down.


Sometimes, it is good to take a day off, load up the monkeys, grab some brews and some ammo...head out to the country and blow off some steam.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Let Me Tell You


It may be a god damned crazy idea, but I had it and I gotta do something about it...

You see?


The smart people, they just talk about ideas...

The loonies, we act on those ideas.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Dogbots



Just so you know, I am still planning on taking over the world...

Having a day job, in order to finance the whole deal - moon bases, underground monorails and all of the associated stuff you need really cuts into my time in the lab.
Because I still insist upon having an army of terrifying baboonbots, which will do my bidding...

Henchman kind of stuff.


It is really hard to find reliable henchmen.


So I keep developing these cyborg/baboon things...


Anyway, I stumbled across this book at the evil-villain-set-on-dominating-the-world-book-store.

It is in Russian, so I guess I need to translate the damned thing...
Seems to have some interesting concepts, however.
Pretty excited to learn about somebody else's take on how you build scary robot/animal apocalypse machines...


Enjoy you day!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

How To Lead



What do you prefer?

Being led with a carrot or a stick?



Or a number of highly explosive carrots, rigged to detonate at a predetermined time...