Vancouvria

OK, so this post may just be an inside joke...

First, you probably need to live, or have lived, in Portland.
Then, you need to have knowledge of the show Portlandia and maybe watched a few episodes.

With that, this is funny.


If you have never heard of the show Portlandia, you should figure that out.
Or not.
It is funnier after hanging out in Portland...
Probably funny, either way.

Sunshine and Flowers

Not in the mood...


Blow it out yer ass.

Makeover

Been oddly warm here, but I have gotten some rides in and declared it winter.

That means getting to a winter makeover, peeling of some stuff, making and modifying other stuff.

It all seems more serious and urgent once the tools are out and the parts are scattered...

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Sunday Drive

Some stretches are like this...

Fools

New Hampshire

And the candidates trudge ahead into New Hampshire...
I would rather watch this, than hear anything about it really.
There is more value to this video than...
Well.
Anyway.


I just read that there are a number of state legislators in New Hampshire sponsoring a bill that would require any new state law to provide grounds for its necessity by quoting the Magna Carta. Do you remember reading the Magna Carta? It is perhaps a bit, you know, dated. That might give you a read on what the hell is going on in New Hampshire politics.
Our whole governance apparatus is so fucked...

Remind me again how states like Iowa and New Hampshire are the crucial states, providing a representation of average voters, in this nomination process?

Poncho Tigre

Gr-rrr.

Whistle Pig Wednesday

I didn't know that people called groundhogs whistle pigs...

I mean, until today.
Who say you can't learn anything from booze?

Twiki Tuesday

I will readily admit that I dug this version of the Buck Rogers television show.
You know, I was a kid - it had robots and space ships and hot chicks in tight, shiny space leotards...
That pretty much fills out the list of things that would motivate me to watch a television show to this day, now that I think about it.


Anyway, two things about this show.-

Rainbows, they were every where. Flags, uniforms, all over.
Not in a gay way. Rainbows weren't all gay, at that time, just kinda.

That robot sidekick, Twiki, had a penis shaped head and nobody talked about it.
Just look at that noggin, man. Yeah, penis.


Unrelated thing that always bugged me about this robot, it stuttered. Why would you not just reprogram your robot so it wouldn't stutter?
Maybe, in the future, a person just does not have time to do anything but pick up their shiny, spandex, rainbow bedazzled space suits from the cleaners and cruise for the hot intergalactic ladies. No time for robot maintenance. Nobody mentions that the robots have dick heads, in the future...

Iowa

So, am I the only person really stoked for Iowa right now?

They are getting sooo much attention, which is awesome. We only really talk about Iowa when there is some catastrophic flood or college sporting event...
And every four years, of course, when the nations most kiss-assy politicians descend on the state like vote whoring locusts.


Iowa.
Thanks for taking it up the butt, for the rest of us.


By which I mean, thanks for living with those fuckers for the past month or so.
Sure, we get to hear all about it. Every slack jawed political analyst, who has not suffered a horrible facial disfigurement, has been on some kind of news show spitting up about how important this moment is in the campaign.

But Iowa, you are there living with them. The candidates.
I assume you have lots of farms, Iowa, so the elephant stench might be less offensive to you than the rest of us. Still, you have my sympathy for enduring all of the dunderheaded attack ads, talking points pissers, robo-calls and diner visits of those slimey, invasive fuckers, their staffers and the herds of imbecile journalists.


With any luck, a few of the contemptuous candidates you are harboring will be discouraged enough to slink back to their home state fiefdoms and shut the fuck up, after your goofy caucusing.

Hopefully, Iowa, you can weed a few out for the rest of us.
Because, frankly, I am tired of hearing about the whole lot of them...

Sunday Drive

Happy New Years...